A Day in the Life of the Sorels
by TK-Oreo
Summary: What is it like living with Raphael and Amy day by day? What chaos erupts within the Romanian castle?
1. Santa!

I have to thank my good friend Casey for helping me out with this!

Onward with the story!

* * *

It was evening in the Sorel household. Raphael was sitting in a room reading as he always did on quiet evenings when suddenly the phone rang. Raphael sat up and looked around confusedly, considering the fact that this is the 16th century and phones weren't even invented yet. Nonetheless, Raphael quickly got up and answered the imaginary phone. 

"Sorel Residence. Who's speaking?" he said formally.  
"It's me!" answered back a rough voice. Raphael froze. His eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. He nearly dropped the make-believe phone. He knew exactly who it was. Why, he hadn't heard from this man in months! Though usually he would be excited to hear from this man, he was more annoyed.

"Siggy, I told you not to call me here," he whispered, as if making sure no one could hear him.  
"You don't understand! I need you tonight!" Seigfried's rough voice answered from the other end.

"I'm sorry. I can't take care of that,"  
"Please!" Seigfried whined desperately. Raphael sighed.

"You know I have to keep this thing between us secret from Amy. If she finds out, she'll freak!"  
"Why do you need HER approval! It's always about HER! AMY THIS! AMY THAT! AMY AMY AMY!" Seigfreid yelled in a high, whiny tone before hanging up. Raphael hung up the phone that didn't exist and began scratching his ear. The shrill voice of an emotional Seigfried hurt his ear.

After hearing some commotion, Amy had entered the room. "Daddy, who was that?" she asked, wondering who on earth has shrieking into the phone.

"It was Santa!" Raphael quickly lied. Amy stopped and raised her eyebrow, questioning the sanity of her father. "What?" he asked, noticing her look.

"Dad, I'm 13. Do you expect me to believe that?"

"IT WAS SANTA, DAMMIT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Raphael finally screamed, causing Amy to run out of the room

* * *

Later that night, Raphael was reading again. Right when he was getting to the good part of the book, he heard a knocking sound, as if someone had broken into the house. He stopped and looked up, sensing something was very wrong. He got up to walk around the house to see if anyone was there. He didn't see any signs of a break in nearby. Perhaps he should check the second floor. Suddenly, he heard another noise, which was specifically coming from upstairs. He began to panic; Amy was up there.

"Amy!" Raphael called, hoping nobody broke into her room. There was no answer. Raphael pulled out Flambert and walked upstairs to check on her.

……

He was upstairs. He walked over to Amy's room first. He quickly opened the door to check and make sure. "Amy?" he asked. She was lying in the middle of the room on her stomach, playing videogames, which also was never invented in the 16th century, so that didn't make sense either. Not only that, she was playing "Soul Calibur 3" (irony?)

"Die, mofo!" she screamed, killing Raphael on the game. Raphael raised his eyebrow questionably. She quickly looked up, giving him her normal, nonchalant stare, and blinked.

"Hi, dad," she simply answered. Raphael was still staring at her stab him over and over. He finally turned to her, pretending not to see it.

"Good night, Amy," he said to her. She blinked and answered back.

"Good night, dad," With that, he closed the door.

He stepped into his room next door. It was dark and large, with a bed fit for a king and curtains around it in the middle of the room. Raphael was beginning to undress when suddenly out of the darkness, someone grabbed him. He quickly reached his arm up to pull the man off, but the man was too strong. He pulled Raphael back and then threw him on the bed. Raphael caught himself and looked up at the silhouette of the man.

"Who are you!" Raphael yelled. The man put his finger on his lips and shushed him.

"It's me…your Siggy…"

(Skipping ahead because I'm NOT writing a sex scene)

The next day, Raphael was a lot more relaxed then usual. He was lying back on his bed, mostly focusing on last night. Amy had obviously noticed this, so she had to figure out what had happened.

"So what did you do with Santa while he was here?" she asked. Raphael turned to her slightly surprised. How did she KNOW!

"What do you mean!" he asked.

"Well…I know that someone visited,"

"Well…it's none of your business," he answered.

"But-"  
"Amy, drop it!" he said harshly. "First off, that obviously wasn't Santa Claus! Second, I'm not going to tell you what I did!"

"If it wasn't Santa, then what was he doing in my room?" she asked perplexedly. Raphael shot up in his seat.  
"WHAT!" he screamed.

"He said he'd give me presents if I was quiet…" she continued. Raphael's hair was standing on end at this point.  
"HE DID WHAT!" he screamed. A vein was popping out of his forehead. _'SEIGFREID! I'm going to kill that bastard!'_ he thought in his head. Amy was simply continuing with her story.

"Yeah, and I said 'hey Santa, don't you want your milk and cookies? He said, 'I don't want any f--king milk and cookies,' I said, 'But, Santa…you always want cookies and milk,' and he said, 'Hey! I'm Santa Claus! Now sit on my lap,' I found it odd, so I stabbed him and pushed him out my window," she finished. At that point, Raphael completely stopped and stared at her. What a violent little girl, he thought. It was then he stopped and noticed something. Another vein began to pop out of his forehead.  
"…So now I have to fix ANOTHER window?" he asked. Amy stopped as if she was thinking about it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," she answered indifferently. "Back to the question, What did you do with Santa?"  
"NOTHING!" he yelled, "And I thought you didn't believe in Santa!"

"I don't. That's why I pushed him out the window," Amy said, as if it made logical sense, even though nothing in this story does.

"Is that why you stab other people, too?" Raphael asked.

"You mean like that time you said the person on the phone was George Washington and I wound up stabbing Ivy? Yeah!"  
"Why do you keep doing that?" Raphael asked, seeming annoyed by it.

"Why are they in my room?" Amy retorted. Raphael stopped and thought. Why WERE they in her room?

"I don't know. Lock your door," Raphael said, seeming very worried for her safty.


	2. Window repair and edible undies

Here's chapter 2!

(Demuth is a COTS character! (letting you know...)

* * *

It had been a whole 24 hours in the Sorel household. Raphael had hired Demuth to fix the window (because he grew tired of fixing it himself). He was working hard on the broken window, taking out the broken glass and replacing the new one. Unfortunately throughout this whole process, he was getting interrupted by a "pest"

"BOO!" Amy screamed, jumping up behind him. Demuth quickly hopped up and turned around, only to see that it was that girl again.

"Damn it, girl!" he growled as he turned back to his work. This was the third time she had done that. Amy began to giggle slightly.

"I'm sorry! I just couldn't resist it!" she said. Demuth retorted with only a growl as he continued to concentrate on the window.

At that moment Amy stopped and gasped in horror. "OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT!" she screamed, pointing at something at the floor and covering her mouth.

"WHAT'S WHAT!" he yelled in fear as he jumped up, only for his head to meet with the top part of the window with a loud thump. Amy couldn't help but laugh at his response. Demuth sat on the floor in defeat, rubbing the newly forming bump on his head. He turned his head to the girl, his face fuming red.

"Damn, girl! Why don't you go outside and do something like sell yourself!" he sneered angrily. At that moment, Amy completely stopped laughing and glared. He told her to do WHAT!

"No, you didn't just say that…" Amy said, getting ready to kick his ass. Demuth stood up, putting his hands on his hips and staring the girl down.

"What are you gonna do about it?" he said in a condescending tone, smirking at himself. Right then, she pushed him out the window.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" was all he could let out. Amy poked her head out and yelled.

"THAT'S WHAT GOERGE WASHINGTON SAID BEFORE I STABBED HER!"

"WHAT?" was the last thing the man let out in utter confusion before finally landing with a booming thud.

The very oblivious Raphael chose that moment to finally walk into the room. "Amy, what was that?" he asked, wondering about all the noise that woke him from his nap. Amy put on a fake smile.

"Nothing!" she said innocently. Raphael looked at all the debris in the room. He could hear a man groaning in agony in the distance.

"Did you just try to kill the repair man by any chance?" Raphael asked. Amy finally gave up the innocent ruse and told the truth.

"HE BASICALLY CALLED ME A WHORE!" she yelled, thinking she gave off a meaningful excuse. Raphael sighed and walked out of the room.

"…I'll call Voldo…" he said.

Later, Amy was staring up at her father, highly confused and wondering what the hell he was thinking. "I thought you hired someone to work on the window?" she asked.

"I did," he simply answered.

"Then why is there a man in kinky bondage equipment lying in the middle of my bedroom?" she asked, pointing at Voldo, who was drooling at this point. Raphael raised his eyebrow at the 50-year-old male contortionist, then finally spoke.

"That's Voldo. I called him to help," he said. Amy tilted her head in even more confusion. Meanwhile Voldo was crawling up behind her.

"Huuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr…" he hissed, making Amy quickly turn around to stare at him some more. "Huuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…" he let out again.

"Do you have allergies or something?" she asked, getting a horsed, grunting sound in response.

"Was that a cough?"

"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuurrr…"

"Leave him alone, Amy," Raphael butted in, putting a hand on her shoulder. Amy turned to her father.

"What wrong with it?" she asked.

"_He _has problems," Raphael answered. At that point, Voldo had begun to roll into a wheel and spin around the room in little circles. At this point, Amy was staring at him in even more puzzlement, wondering if the thing was even human. She finally had enough.

"Daddy, where do you meet these people!" she asked. Raphael sighed and answered.

"I go places…places you've never been…places you don't ever want to be…"

* * *

Meanwhile, in Asia, Xianghua and Kilik wear training vigorously. They had been in the heat of their battle for hours, going back and forth and barely stopping for breaks. The hot sun was out during the peak hours of noon. Finally, Kilik quickly struck at Xianghua, the strength of his strike knocking the sword out of her hand. Xianghua gave way to the strength of the strike, grunting in pain. She looked at her sword on the ground, then at Kilik, finally picking it up as she spoke.

"That's the third time!" she yelled. Kilik chuckled as he twirled his staff in his hand.

"I know! It's my rod! The power of my rod never fails to get me what I want!" he yelled. Xianghua suddenly stopped and stared at him, her eyes widened as her thoughts went extremely perverse.

"That SO didn't sound right…" Xianghua said. Kilik stopped and stared back at her naively.

"What do you mean, Xianghua?" he asked. At that moment, Maxi came out of nowhere, seeming deeply troubled by something.

"Oh, man! This sucks! Has anyone seen my pack of edible underwear?" he yelled loudly. Kilik and Xianghua stopped and stared at him.

(Um…maybe I should go back to the story…)

* * *

After all of that oddness, the window was finally fixed. The two Sorel's were in the dining room, take a "well deserved break" (as if they did something). Raphael was sitting at the table sipping his favorite drink, which was a thick, crimson liquid out of a wine glass. He gulped it down quickly, then finally laid down the glass and exhaled contently. He licked some that was oozing down the side of his lip, then spoke. "Ah, it's so refreshing!" he said happily. Amy, who was sitting across from him, was staring at her wine glass filled with the blood-red fluid. She finally looked over to her father.

"Daddy, why do people think we're vampires?" she asked, taking a small sip after her question. Raphael was staring at his wine glass, still stained from the juice.

"I dunno…but this V8 is the best thing I have ever drank!" he said, smiling.

Suddenly, Voldo popped up behind Amy out of nowhere, hissing loudly. Amy screamed and hopped into Raphael's lap Scooby-Doo style, staring back at Voldo in a terrified stare.

"DADDY! IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! IT'S BEEN DOING THAT FOR THE PAST 30 MINUTES! She screamed.

"Just stay close to me. He might have rabies, honey," Raphael replied worriedly. Suddenly Voldo flopped onto the floor and began to break dance. The two looked back at him, staring questionably at the thing as it began to spin on it's back.

"Daddy?" Amy asked as Voldo began to do the worm.

"Just look away…" Raphael replied. Voldo jumped back up to his feet into a crouching position, then began to leap like a frog towards the window nearby. He broke through the window and began his descent to the ground. They could both hear a scream in the distance. The two got up and slowly walked towards the window, eyeing the debris and the newly smashed glass. Raphael kicked a piece of the glass and cursed.

"Oh, great! Just break ANOTHER window right after one was just fixed!" he fumed. Amy stood behind her father, still blinking and staring confusedly.

"What the f-"

"We'll have none of that, young lady!" Raphael snapped, turning around and pointing a finger.

* * *

Well, wasn't that special? Make sure to look out for chapter 3! 


	3. My Boo

**Well, here's chapter 3. Sorry, I took so long this time. My birthday just passed!**

**Well, moving on now…

* * *

**

Another day in the Romanian castle. Raphael was getting bored sitting around in the house, so he decided to it was time to get some entertainment here. It would be nice to bring a guest for once, but who would he invite here? Siegfried was getting annoying, Mitsurugi was just going to harp on about the psycho ninja lady that stalks him, and Cassandra…well he's just trying to flat out avoid her for certain reasons. The last thing he wanted was for her to start crying again, causing her sister to show up, and thus getting kneed in the balls over and over like last time they came over. After going through his list, the light bulb finally went off. He got up to tell Amy, who was in the room nearby.

"Amy, I'm going to invite my good old friend Zasalamel over, okay?" he said, smiling. Amy put down the lighter. Raphael didn't understand why she had a lighter, and was in fact getting a little freaked out about it, but now wasn't the time to question her.

"But, daddy…you don't talk to him…" she said.

"Don't be ridiculous! Zasalamel is my boo!" he said, smiling because he finally got a chance to use urban lingo. Amy's eyes shot wide and there was a long pause.

"Dad…" she started slowly. "I think you mean 'homie'…" Amy corrected. Raphael stopped smiling.

"Whatever! What difference does it make!" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"Well, when you call him your boo, you are basically saying that he's your bitch,"

"Amy, don't say that! Now go to your room and think about what you just said!" Raphael said, appalled of Amy using such profanity.

"I'm telling the truth, gosh!" she yelled as she walked out of the room.

Not long after that, Raphael was sitting in the Foyer, waiting for his "boo". There was a loud knock at the door. Excited, Raphael popped up and skipped (that's right, skipped like a giddy little schoolgirl) to the door and answered. There he was, standing there, taller than Raphael in his white hood, his black and gold eye staring the blonde down unemotionally.

"Zasalamel! I'm so glad you could make it!" Raphael said. Zasalamel simply nodded and followed Raphael in.

They both walked to the largest room in the whole mansion. Raphael raised his hand out proudly and spoke. "Welcome to my humble abode!" Raphael said confidently, causing an echo. Zasalamel looked around the whole room in puzzlement, finally turning to the Frenchman and spoke.

"Why are all your windows smashed?" he asked. Raphael looked down and cleared his throat.

"Well, you see, I had a window broken in my house for the seventeenth time, so I got it repaired. Unfortunately, the repair man didn't think it suited the house, so he broke another window. I decided, screw it, and threw rocks through all the windows!" he explained. Zasalamel raised his eyebrow.

"…You are a strange man,"

"I know," he answered, not even retaliating. "So anyway, did you bring the stash?" Raphael asked, clasping his hands together eagerly. The hooded man held up a bag and smirked.

"But of coarse," he said.

…

The two men were sitting in a small, smoke filled room, both giggling like fools. Suddenly Zasalamel's smile faded as he seemed to ponder something deep. Raphael slowly stopped laughing as he noticed his expression.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Zasalamel sighed depressingly.

"You know…it's hard being the only black man around," he answered forlornly

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there are so many stereotypes for me! Everyone just thinks I'll steal from them or pull out a gat and bust a cap. I'm just an ordinary man! And so what if I'm on a mission to kill myself! Does it really matter anyway? It's not like I cut or something! IT DOESN'T MAKE ME EMO!" he screamed as he broke down and cried. Raphael scooted over and patted his hand on his back, trying to comfort him.

"It's okay, dude…" Raphael said. Zasalamel picked his head up from his hands. There was still a river of tears flowing from his face. "I'm sorry…" he said, adding a sniffle "it's just so hard sometimes…"

Raphael continued to pat his back. "I know. I know,"

"YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE JUDGED! TO BE CALLED SOMETHING YOUR NOT!"

"Zaz, how many people call me a vampire?" Raphael asked.

"…" Was all Zasalamel could answer with.

"See? We're even," he said, ending his attempt to make him feel better. He scooted back over to the bag and pulled out a Butterfinger. "By the way, this is a great stash of candy you got," Raphael said as he was opening the wrapper.

"I know. I've been saving it up since Halloween," Zasalamel said as he was wiping off his tears. At that moment, Raphael looked around and was finally aware of his surroundings.

"Um…why is this room full of smoke?" he asked the dark, hooded man beside him.

"I've been meaning to ask you that…" he answered. Raphael got up and began to search around the room far the source. He saw a small vent with smoke puffing out of it. He turned to the other man and spoke.

"It's coming from a vent that goes to Amy's room…OH MY GOD!" he screamed as he quickly got up and ran out of the room.

Raphael darted towards Amy's room frantically and opened the door. He looked to see that her whole room was ablaze. Not only that, Amy was standing in the center of the room, laughing evilly."

HAHAHA! BURN, BABY, BURN! MWAHAHA!" she screamed madly.

"OH MY GOD! AMY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" he screamed. She quickly froze, then slowly turned her head, trying to innocently smile.

"Um…Oops?" she answered back. Raphael grabbed her and ran out of the room as the flames grew bigger.

Later the three were outside. Raphael grabbed Amy by her shoulders.

"What is the meaning of this!" he yelled, shaking her.

" I was sacrificing a chicken!" she yelled back. He stopped and raised his eyebrow.

"WHAT! WHY!"

" Well, I thought it was better than prayers. Other religions do it," she said in a matter of fact tone.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PRAYING FOR!"

"A new bike," she simply answered. At this point, Raphael was pulling on his hair.

"A NEW BIKE!" he screamed, his face turning red.

"Yes," she said unemotionally, nodding her head.

"You are willing to RUIN MY HOUSE for that?" he screamed.

"I WANT THAT BIKE AND I WILL HAVE IT!" she screamed passionately, clenching her hands into fists. At this point, Zasalamel was staring at the whole situation confusedly. Was it a mistake to show up at this odd man's house or what?

"What are we going to do about all the furniture you burned up?" Raphael continued.

"Oh, not to worry about that. Since I knew there was a risk to doing a sacred ritual involving fire in the middle of my room, I decided to throw it all out the window," she said, thoughtfully.

* * *

Meanwhile outside Amy's window, there was furniture, toys, and clothing scattered all over the yard. There was a dresser on top of Demuth's head, who was still lying outside since yesterday. "Uuuuuuuugh…" he groaned in agony, his legs twitching.

* * *

Raphael threw his arms up as if he were fed up. "You're grounded!" he yelled, pointing at Amy. 

"Again?" Amy sighed, "I just got off last week for stabbing-"

"Yes, I know! You're grounded again!" he yelled back.


	4. I want your bod

CHAPTER 4 IS HERE!

EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

* * *

It was very late at night. Raphael was fast asleep under his silk sheets in his bed with a smirk on his lips, having "pleasant" dreams of someone special. Was it Ivy, or Seigfried, or Cassandra? Nobody knew, but he dreamt on anyway, until he was woken up by distant chattering. It sounded like an emotional girl talking on a cell phone. He groaned as he rolled out of bet and put on his Barney slippers to walk into the other room. He walked up to the door in Amy's room and could here her complaining loudly to one of her good friends.

"It's so not fair! I just got off of punishment the other day for stabbing that whore Ivy! Now he wants to punish me again for praying!" he heard her squealing. The person on the receiver was just as loud.

"Tell me about it! My parents are about to send me off to the asylum just because I communicate with the wind!" the person responded.

"It's so not fair!" Amy whined. Raphael finally chose that moment to interrupt their complaining.

"Amy, what did I tell you?" he asked like the parent he was. Amy turned around, quickly glancing at Raphael, then sighing irritably.

"I have to go. Bye, Talim," she said, finally hanging up. Raphael walked up to Amy, reaching out his hand and signaling her to give him the cell phone. She glared and dropped it in his hand.

" 'No phone' means NO PHONE!" He said as he gripped his fingers around the phone _(Why the hell does she even have one? We may never know…)_

"You suck!" Amy yelled angrily. Suddenly Raphael's eyes shot wide.

"…Who told you I suck? Did Santa tell you?" he asked frantically. Amy sat still and stared back at her father. She didn't mean it literally, so why is he frantic if someone knows he sucks? Better yet…WHAT IS HE SUCKING! Amy began to worry about her father, when suddenly there was a loud crash heard. Both of them pause, looking around the room for the sound.

"What was that!" Raphael asked.

"I dunno…" Amy answered. Raphael turned to walk out of the room.

"I'll go check it out. You stay in here and STAY OFF THE PHONE," he said, giving emphasis on the last part of the sentence, as if putting it in caps didn't help you already establish that.

The crash of coarse was done by non other than Tira who had made her entrance through the window. She had been out all night, searching relentlessly for the newest host for Soul Edge. She had her ring blade in her hand, smiling as she looked at the posh settings of the castle around her. She found her latest target, a man with a small amount of evil energy surrounding him. His blood was already tainted, so that would make a perfect start for her.

Speak of the devil, Raphael was walking tiredly down the hall in his PJ's, sword in hand, wondering what all the noise was about. He was pretty sure it was Siegfried wanting to "taste his Baggett" again, but he brought Flambert anyway just in case. He quickly popped up and got into his well-known stance when he saw the girl.

"What do you want?" he asked in a rough, threatening tone. The plant-like girl smiled crazily, lifting up her ring blade.

"I want your body…" she said, sounding just as insane as she looked. Raphael pointed his sword out at her when he spoke.

"Well, get in line! Lot's of women want it!" he answered, smirking on the last part of his sentence.

"They do?" Tira asked, dropping the smile and tilting her head in confusion.

"Yeah, loads of them come over every night just like you," he continued.

_'Well, master must have other servants searching for hosts other than me,' _she thought.

"That is, unless you're really eager to have it, then I can arrange something," Raphael continued. Tira smiled wildly once again, raising up her weapon and getting into her stance.

"Oh, yes! So willing! I like that!" she said gleefully. With that, Raphael began to slowly take off his shirt and pants in a seductive matter. Tira's eyes shot wide at the sight of such an event. The next thing she knew, he was standing in the middle of the room in briefs with his pants down to his ankles.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked confusedly.

"You said you wanted my body! Are you changing your mind!"

Tira finally understood what he meant. She began to shake her head frantically. "Nooooo! I don't mean that!" she yelled.

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! WHY MUST YOU WOMEN BE SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!"

At that very moment, Amy decided to come downstairs for a glass of water. She could here some commotion in the other room. Her curiosity overruling her thirst, she walked into the other room to see the frightening scene of her father stripped down to his underwear. She jumped back and screamed.

"OH MY GOD! DADDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she shrieked. Raphael quickly turned his head to see Amy and covered himself with his hands.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY UPSTAIRS! WE ARE HAVING AN ADULT CONVERSATION!" he yelled back.

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CONVERSATION ARE YOU HAVING WITH YOUR PANTS OFF!"

"What did I tell you about cursing! Go upstairs!" he commanded, snapping his fingers. She finally turned and walked off, hoping to God this was just part of a very bad dream.

Raphael finally turned his attention back to Tira, who was actually beginning to blush at this point as she was staring at his body.

"…You're offering to anyone?" she asked sheepishly. He gave her one of his debonair smirks. Sometimes, he was such a manwhore.

"Yeah, only if you want it," he answered back in a smooth, seductive voice.

"Okay," she answered quickly, dropping her weapon and walking up to him. They proceeded to walk upstairs for the night.

* * *

(NOTE: "Baggett" is that long French bread, just to let you know) 


	5. Surprise!

**Well, here's Chapter 5. I'm sorry if the beginning seems too long. This is the beginning of an even funnier part I came up with so work with me people.**

**

* * *

**

The next morning, Amy woke up groggy and tired. She had a really weird dream. One minute she was walking downstairs and she saw her father in his underwear, next she was being attacked by a giant tomato. The dream felt strangely real…well the first part. She HOPED the first part was a dream. She decided to walk into Raphael's room to tell him all about it. She opened the door, her eyes shooting wide as she shrieked at what she saw. Raphael was naked in bed with what looked like once of the plants from the greenhouse. Maybe he got drunk again and got beer goggles like last time when he was caught pleasuring himself with the wooden chair, she thought. Suddenly, she saw the plant move. Once it turned around, Amy realized it wasn't a plant at all, but a girl with green hair and lipstick on her face. She yawned and turned over to Raphael to wake him up. At that point, Amy slammed the door and ran out.

* * *

Sophitia was having a normal morning. She was in the kitchen cooking breakfast as the kids were in the bathroom washing up. Her husband came downstairs drowsily in his night gown as he always did. He smiled at his wife as he tiredly stretched his arms up.

"Morning, honey," he yawned, making Sophitia smile lovingly back.

"Good morning, Rothion," she answered. He smacked his lips tiredly, watching her cook breakfast. Suddenly he heard a loud groan behind him, making him swiftly turn around.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Rothion screamed as he saw the creature behind him. It took him a second to realize it was just Cassandra. With her messy hair, nightly mask on, and angry tired glare on her face, it is hard to tell.

"Screw you…" Cassandra said to Rothion.

"Hey sis," Sophitia said. Cassandra plopped herself into a chair, then smacked her head on the breakfast table, falling fast asleep. Sophitia blinked then turned to her husband.

"I guess she stayed up too late again," she answered.

Abruptly, there was frantic loud banging at the door, which startled Sophitia and made her drop the spatula. Cassandra quickly popped her head up, revealing the red mark produced from the impact of her head to the table. Rothion's hairs were standing on end. "What on earth is that?" he asked.

"I don't know! I should check," she said, walking out of the kitchen to answer the door. She opened the door to see the preteen redhead, panting with a frightened stare on her face.

"Amy? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I-I…Oh my God!" Amy said as if she were traumatized. She quickly wrapped her arms around Sophitia. Thinking she needed some comfort, Sophitia simply lead her in and closed the door, then walked her into the kitchen.

After making her some hot tea, Sophitia finally calmed her down so she could speak.

"Now Amy, you can tell me anything," Sophitia said in her nurturing, motherly tone. She was always the motherly one, always having people turn to her for help. Amy sucked in a breath, then spoke…or more yelled for that matter.

"DADDY WAS SLEEPING WITH A CRACK WHORE!" she let out. Sophitia froze. She couldn't believe what came out. To make matters worse, the kids just came downstairs, hearing exactly what Amy said.

"Um, Amy…" Sophitia started, staring at her children.

"Mommy, what's a crack whore?" asked Sophitia's daughter Pyrrha. Sophitia's eyes shot wide as she looked at her daughter.

"It's a type of job! Go get ready for school!" she yelled.

"Can I be a crack whore when** I** grow up?" she continued asking.

"NO! GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH!" Sophitia continued. Suddenly, Amy jumped up and quickly wrapped her arms around Sophitia at this point, almost knocking her over.

"I don't wanna go home!" she yelled

" Well, you'll have to…I can't breath…" Sophitia let out weakly.

"Wait…Mommy, Isn't Raphael gay?" her son Patroklos asked.

"And may I ask WHERE you heard that?" Sophitia asked angrily.

"Daddy says it all the time," he answered, pointing to Rothion," He always says Raphael is a pirate of butts and likes sausage or something like that," Sophitia glared at her husband. Amy just stood there like a deer in the headlights.

" He's bisexual, honey. Bisexual," Sophita finally corrected.

"What's bisexual?" Patroklos asked, tilting his head naively.

"I'll tell you another time, go follow your sister!" Sophitia said, getting stressed at this point.

"Bi-WHAT!" Amy finally yelled. Sophitia turned to her as she remembered _'Oh crap! Amy's in the room!'_

"Nothing," Sophitia said, "Think nothing of it,"

At this point, it was Cassandra's turn to enter the conversation. Her face was beet red.

"Raphael is cheating on me…AGAIN! THAT BASTARD!" She fumed. Sophitia turned to her younger sibling and sighed. She knew where this was going.

"Now, Cassandra-"

"That's it! I'm leaving him…FOR GOOD!" Cassandra screamed, banging her fists on the table.

"But that's what you said the forth and fifth time he cheated," Sophitia said. Amy went back to the deer in the headlights look. Never in her life had she seen Raphael this way. Cassandra continued to fume.

"I mean it this time!" she yelled, crying at this point, " I'm tearing all his pictures off my wall!"

She ran into the back room, sobbing loudly. Sophitia followed.

"I'm not going to be cleaning up the mess again!" she yelled from the back room.

Amy still stared out, both confused and shocked at the same time. Rothion shook his head and sipped his cup of coffee.

"Women," he sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile at home, Raphael was finally revealing what he had done last night to Seigfried. 

"I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME!" Seigfried squealed like a distressed woman, his eyes watering up and all.

"I can't help it! I'm bi!" Raphael said back to him

"That doesn't mean you had to stick your sword in her!"

"She wanted it," Raphael said like a whore.

"I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WE NEVER MADE LOVE ANYMORE!" Seigfried yelled back.

" I'm sorry! I'm just beginning to flow more towards women, okay!" Raphael said back.

" I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! AFTER ALL OF THE TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME!"

"Siggy--" Raphael said, trying to calm him down.

"DON'T YOU SIGGY ME!"

"You're making my ears bleed…" Raphael said to him, sticking a finger in his ear to scratch it.

"GOOD, MY HEART IS BLEEDING!" he cried loudly.

Raphael raised his eyebrow. That sounded unusually EMO. Finally he put that to the side and continued.

"Siggy, please don't act like this," Raphael pleaded.

"I CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF YOU RIGHT NOW! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Seigfried screamed, pointing at the door. Raphael stared at his finger for a while with his eyebrow raised, then finally chose to speak.

"Umm…"

"GO!"

"Seigfried…this is my house," He finally stated.

"OF COURSE YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BE IN CONTROL OF YOU ANY LONGER! NOW I SAID GO, WALK OUT THE DOOR, JUST TURN AROUND NOW, CUZ YOUR NOT WELCOMED ANYMORE!"

Raphael still stared at him confusedly. Did he just quote "I will Survive"?

"This is really my house," Raphael continued.

"SCREW YOU!" Seigfried screamed as he stomped out of the house, "WE'RE OVER!"

Raphael simply watched as he hurriedly rushed out, slamming the door behind him. Honestly, he was ready to break up with him. He simply sighed with relief.

The drama wasn't over yet. Out of nowhere, he heard another knock at the door. Tira, who was walking down the stairs in a robe, suddenly ran to answer it. She opened the door to see it was Sophitia and Amy.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sophitia asked, now getting more confused.

"Nothing. I was just leaving…" Tira tried to lie. Amy suddenly pointed at her.

"That's the crack whore!" Amy said.

"What did you call me?" Tira growled, raising her fist. Sophitia quickly moved in between the two.

"Now, Tira. Leave her alone. We came here to speak with Raphael," She said.

"Fine," Tira groaned, walking back into the house and letting them in.

"You know her?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, she was going to baby-sit my kids later. She seemed rather eager to do it too," Sophitia answered, "RAPHAEL, I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU! WHERE ARE YOU!" she continued to yell. Raphael slowly came to the door.

"I'm here! Stop yelling," he said in an irritated tone. He saw Sophitia standing there in the doorway with her arms crossed and her foot tapping. He knew from past experiences, that meant trouble.

"What now?" he groaned, "Is Cassandra bitching about me not seeing her again?"

Upon hearing this, Sophitia quickly kneed him in the balls, causing him to immediately squeal like a five year old girl and fall to the floor.

"JEEZE! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Raphael yelled, still grabbing his jewels.

"YOU NO GOOD PIECE OF…" Sophitia started, beginning a series of kicks to his groin.

"AMY, HELP ME!" Raphael screamed. Amy simply stood there with her arms crossed, watching this event. She would help him, but wasn't this the same guy who grounded her?

The horrible torture of Raphael's bits continued, until they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. Sophitia stopped, hearing the doorbell.

"I'll be nice and let you finish that. It's probably Cassandra coming to finish you off anyway," she saied. Raphael slowly rose to his feet, barley being able to walk. Though struggling, he finally managed to limp to the front door and answered. He gasped out of astonishment. .His heart nearly jumped out of his mouth when he saw who it was.

"YOU?" he exclaimed.

To be continued…

* * *

**So, who IS the person at the door? Tune into the next chapter to find out!**


	6. Lemonade

**Previously in "A Day in the Life of the Sorels"**...

The horrible torture of Raphael's bits continued, until they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. Sophitia stopped, hearing the doorbell.

"I'll be nice and let you finish that. It's probably Cassandra coming to finish you off anyway," she saied. Raphael slowly rose to his feet, barley being able to walk. Though struggling, he finally managed to limp to the front door and answered. He gasped out of astonishment. .His heart nearly jumped out of his mouth when he saw who it was.

"YOU?" he exclaimed.

**So, who IS the person at the front door? **

**HERE IT IS!**

**CHAPTER 5**

**...  
**

Raphael was holding his chest at this point. He could hear his heart beating at a million beats a second. Confused, Amy peaked her head through to look. There was a red headed, blue eyed man at the door who looked to be about Raphael's age or younger. He had a check shaped scar on his left cheek. The man finally responded to Raphael. 

"Brother?" he asked. Raphael snapped out of his daze.

"Chester. I haven't seen you since childhood…" he answered. Amy's eyes shot wide. The crazy son-of-a-gun that she calls her father has a BROTHER? The younger man stepped foot into the house, his eyes locked on Raphael

"There is one thing I have always wanted to do since you left, and here is the moment I get to finally do it…" he said, walking up to his long lost brother with open arms. Raphael slowly opened his arms, allowing the man into his embrace, when suddenly out of nowhere, the redhead slapped Raphael across the face hard. He began rubbing his cheek, glaring at the younger sibling. "Ow! What the hell was that for!" he yelled.

"That was for making my childhood a living hell!" Chester screamed, punching Raphael in the gut, "And that's for beating me up in high school and shoving me in the locker,"

Raphael was crouched over holding his stomach. Chester punched him again. "And stealing my first girlfriend (punch) And hanging me upside down on the tree in the backyard and leaving me there for three days, lying to dad and saying I 'ran away'. (kick) And that's for telling all my best friends I'm a bed wetter and bringing the stained sheets to school!" he screamed, finally kicking Raphael in the balls as hard as he could. Raphael dropped to the floor.

"Ow…Jeeze…Why is everyone torturing me?" he whined. Chester jumped on Raphael, chocking the life out of him. "I HATE YOU!" he screamed, banging his head on the floor. Raphael used all of his strength to get the crazed copper headed man off of him. Chester leaped for him again, causing them to tussle on the floor some more. The two girls simply stood back and watched, blinking and raising their eyebrows. Sophitia finally sighed and spoke.

"I guess my work here is done," she said, turning to walk out the door. After a while longer, Raphael finally got up, his hair messy and his nose bleeding. He straightened himself up, then looked down at his brother, who was also getting up all messy and bloody.

"And by the way, every winter when you were sick from a cold or flu…I PISSED IN YOUR SOUP!" Chester randomly added, sticking up his middle finger. Raphael stood there, thinking about it for a while.

"Well, that's just awkward…" Amy said.

"Why did you come here?" Raphael asked, trying to forget as hard as he could what he just heard.

"I have nowhere else to go," he responded.

"Amy, go upstairs," Raphael finally answered. Amy turned back to her newly discovered uncle, then ran upstairs.

"Well, it's been a _pleasure _to see you again, but you need to leave," Raphael said coldly.

"Screw you! I'm not leaving!" Chester yelled.

"Yes, you are," Raphael said, opening the door for him.

"No, I'm not," Chester retorted, crossing his arms.

"Yes, you are," Raphael said again harshly, his brows furrowing more.

"No, I'm not," Chester retorted again.

"Yes, you are! Get out of my house!" Raphael yelled.

"No," Chester said.

"LEAVE!"

"No,"

"GET OUT!"

"NO!"

"FINE!" Raphael finally yelled, walking away. Chester smirked, this reminded him a lot of early childhood.

"Thank you, brother," Chester said mockingly.

"GO TO HELL!" Raphael yelled back.

Raphael was in his room later that afternoon. He was tired of getting beat up, so he was resting in his room with two packs of ice, on his cheek and on his crotch. Amy peeked in on him every now and then to make sure he was okay. She felt bad for him for having to go through so much. If only there was at least something she could do to make him feel better. That's when she had an idea. She smiled and skipped to the kitchen.

When she arrived, she could see Chester leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and he was mumbling to himself.

"I hate him. Why did I have to come here?" he grumbled before he finally noticed Amy standing in the room. He popped up from the counter, then ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Uncle, are you okay?" she asked.

"Huh?" he said, looking around stupidly, before finally realizing she is referring to him. It was a strange feeling to be called "Uncle".

"I'm fine. What are you doing here?"

"Father seems miserable, so I'm thinking I can make him something to help him feel better,"

"Is that so?" Chester said through gritted teeth. Honestly in his opinion, a bowl of dog shit would've been more suitable for Raphael. And that's him being nice.

"Yeah. I think I'll make Lemonade…he seems to like lemonade," Amy said thoughtfully. Chester popped up after hearing that, a smile creeping on his face. The temptation was too strong for him.

"I can help. I know a _special _ingredient for lemonade," he said.

"Really?" Amy asked, smiling happily. Maybe Chester wanted to pay him back for all of the pain he inflicted, or so she thought.

"Yeah, I do it all the time. It kicks up the taste," Chester said, smirking evilly on the last sentence.

"Okay! Let's make lemonade!" She said, clasping her hands together.

And so Amy mixed the ingredients into a glass, handing the glass over to Chester.

"Thanks," Chester said, thus taking the glass down towards his lower torso and unzipping his pants.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Amy screamed, her eyes widening to the sight. Thank GOD this guy wore underwear, or this story would be MA.

"Um…adding the ingredient," he answered shakily, "Now, look away…"

Being way too disturbed, she finally walked out of the room, not even bothering to respond. He watched her leave, then proceeded with what he was doing. After a few seconds, Chester finally came back out of the kitchen, chuckling to himself.

"I'm finished," he said to Amy, pointing at the doorway. She slowly walked back into the kitchen to see that the glass was still on the table. It was looking more yellow than usual, but she guessed it was the "secret ingredient". Without even bothering to ask, she took the glass and walked upstairs to Raphael's room.

Meanwhile in Raphael's room. Raphael was sitting back on his bed, cursing the world for causing him such abuse, when suddenly the door opened. Raphael screamed and fell off the bed.

"DON'T HURT ME! I'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH!" he yelled. Amy raised her eyebrow as she watched her father cower in fear. He finally stopped when he realized it was her.

"Oh, I thought you were- never mind," he said, clearing his throat and getting back on the bed. Amy gave the glass to Raphael.

"Here you go father. I made you lemonade to make you feel better," she said. Raphael quickly grabbed it out of her hand, then looked at her and smiled.

"Thank you, Amy," he said, gulping it down without hesitation.

"Uncle Chester added a special ingredient. Perhaps he wanted to make up for earlier," she said innocently. Raphael's eyes shot wide upon hearing this, following with the reaction of spitting the juice all over Amy's face.

"WELL YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST TOLD ME IF IT SUCKS!" she fumed.

"No wonder it tastes like piss," Raphael said without thinking.

"Oh, thanks!" Amy said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at him.

"Did he happen to tell you WHAT the ingredient was?" Raphael asked her after a quick gag.

"No, but he was taking off his pants…"

"HE RELIEVED HIMSELF IN MY DRINK!"

"AND YOU SPIT IT IN _MY _FACE?" Amy screamed, making the sudden realization.

"I did?" Raphael asked after thinking for a few seconds. Amy glared back at him. Raphael could almost picture the smoke coming out of Amy's nose.

"I'm sorry…" he said apologetically.

"I hate you sometimes…" Amy growled, finally storming out of the room.

"It was a reflex!" he yelled after her.

**...  
**

** Well, wasn't that fun?**

**(Chester is a COTS character...in case you didn't know)  
**


	7. Family Issues

**Well, it's chapter 7!**

It was once again another night in the Sorel home, but it wasn't silent as usual. It hadn't been silent for the past week since Chester had moved in. Several rooms were in disarray and blood had been stained on floors occasionally since he had moved back in. The two siblings were just always going at it with each other, fighting over the simplest things. Just yesterday, they sent each other to the hospital after arguing over who gets the last cookie. In fact, on this particular night, they were going at it once again.

"I hate this mansion! It's too big, too many rooms, I can't find the bathroom most of the time, and all the damn windows are broken! Can't you even afford a repair man! I CAN'T EVEN GET ANY PRIVACY IN THE SHOWER WITHOUT THE NEIGHBOR'S WIFE STARING AT ME!" Chester screamed.

"First of all, if you hate this place, why don't you leave? Secondly, the neighbors wife isn't that bad, she's a nice lady. I would know…" Raphael stated, smirking mischievously. Chester had a disgusted look on his face.

"That's is horrible! You're such a pervert." He said.

"Nothing is wrong with love." Raphael simply retorted.

"SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S 80!"

"IT'S LOVE! BEYOND THE GRAY HAIR AND THE OCCASIONAL BROKEN HIPS, THERE'S SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL!" Raphael yelled back, causing his younger sibling to gag. "Don't gag at my relationship!" he growled harshly, pointing at him threateningly.

"IT'S DISGUSTING! YOU HAVE HORRIBLE TASTE IN WOMEN AND THAT'S ONE MORE REASON WHY I HATE YOU!" Chester yelled.

"Insult my taste in women again! I DARE YOU!"

"YOU _DO _HAVE A HORRIBLE TASTE IN WOMEN!"

Upon hearing that, Raphael punched him, thus resulting in yet another fistfight.

Amy had walked downstairs right at the moment it had begun. She groaned, knowing that once again there was going to be ANOTHER room she would have to clean up while Raphael goes into his bathroom to treat another series of wounds all over his body. She was getting exceptionally tired of their scuffling, wishing that there was something she could do to stop those two. Suddenly, and idea had popped into her head. Turning to the two, she tried to grab their attention.

"Hey guys!" she yelled. The two were obviously not listening. "Guys!" she yelled again, but much to her dismay, they continued trying to kill each other.

"GUYS!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Knowing that this wouldn't work, she ran into Raphael's room, and came back with a .42 pistol.

"LISTEN TO ME DAMMIT!" she screamed as she shot fires into the air. The two men quickly stopped.

"Now we can settle this nicely or I can bust a cap in someone's ass tonight! Understand?" she threatened.

"I think I'll take the nice method…" Raphael said, scared out of his mind.

Later, in the library, the three were sitting in chairs, peacefully for once. Amy sat up and began to talk. "Okay, we are going to work this out together. Now Chester, tell me, what is it that you don't like about my father. Why do you hate him so?"

"He's a no good, malicious, bullying, bastard! He tortured me all throughout childhood and adolescence. Not to mention that I think he's gay, and he has mental issues!" he ranted.

"Okay," she said nodding, then turning to Raphael, "I'm going to talk to you, Raphael. Let's focus on this bullying issue. Why did you bully him?"

"I dunno," he said.

"OF COARSE YOU DON'T!" Chester suddenly screamed as he leaped on him and began to punch him in the face. Amy groaned irritably, pulled out the pistol, and fired into the air again, causing Chester to jump up and immediately get back into his seat. Simultaneously, they heard what sounded like someone screaming "NAMU!" then out of nowhere, a body with a bullet hole in the chest fell out of the sky and landed on the floor between the three. The three stopped and stared at the body for a while.

"What the hell is that?" Chester asked.

"I think that's Yoshimitsu…" Raphael answered nasally, due to the fact he was holding his bloody nose.

"Well, back to the session then…" Amy said, "Now, Chester. Tell me about your mother."

Chester began to stop and think about it for a while. Tears were beginning to well up in his eyes.

"Oh, God!" he suddenly whined, covering his face a bawling uncontrollably. Amy looked at her father, raising her eyebrow and pointing at her uncle.

"Why is this grown man crying? What did I do?" Amy asked confusedly.

"Just say it, we both know…" Raphael said, grinning evilly.

"Screw you!" Chester yelled, then went back to crying.

"Mother never loved you. She always loved me more," Raphael said in a proud yet very cold voice.

"SCREW YOU!" Chester yelled again, throwing a pillow from the chair Raphael, then curling up in a fetal position. "Mommy…" he whined in a baby-like voice.

"Like I said, she loved me more," Raphael said smiling. Amy shot into the air again with the pistol. They heard what sounded like another scream. This time a random guy just fell out of nowhere. Raphael glared at Amy.

"Give me the gun." He said, holding his hand out.

"No!" Amy said, holding it close.

"Then stop killing people!" he said.

"I can't help it!" Amy said, "Why are they on our ceiling anyway?"

"They probably came through the broken windows…" Raphael said.

"Some security we have!" Amy said sarcastically. Upon saying that, a random thief was seen walking by with Amy's PS2. She glared at Raphael, who was shrugging.

"She didn't love me…" Chester randomly came out with. Amy stopped and stared at him. She almost forgot that she was still in the middle of a therapy session.

"She told me I was an accident," he added.

"Actually, he was a result of a one night stand my mother had with some bum on the corner after her and father got into another argument-" Raphael explained before being cut off.

"SHUT UP!" Chester screamed, continuing his crying. Amy pulled out a Kleenex and gave it to Chester.

"Let's go to another subject. Explain to me the origins of that scar." She said. She knew it had nothing to do with the situation, but she was just so damn curious about it, so it wouldn't hurt to slip it in. Chester sat up and sucked up his tears.

"Well, it's a long story. You see, That bastard you call your father used to watch too much Ruruoni Kenshin…"

FLASHBACK

They were both in the Foyer, bored out of their mind. The very spunky, nine-year-old Raphael jumped up with a solution. "LET'S PLAY RURONI KENSHIN!" he yelled enthusiastically.

"Again?" said a very tired, six-year-old Chester.

"Yes, again! Get over it!" Raphael said, hitting the younger child over the head.

"OW! WHAT DID MOMMY SAY ABOUT YOU HITTING ME?"

"She said keep doing it and that you should have been reported…or aborted! Something like that. Who cares! Do you want to play or not?" Raphael yelled.

"…Fine…as long as I get to play Kenshin." Chester said uninterestedly.

"Then I'm Tomoe!" Raphael cheered. Chester's eyes popped wide open.

"What? You can't be a girl!" he yelled.

"Yes, I can because I'm prettier than you. Plus, in this scene I get to cut you across the face just like Tomoe," Raphael stated, holding up what looked like a butcher knife. Chester stared at the knife for a while in a petrified state.

"…MOM!" he screamed frantically.

"I'M TOMOE, DAMMIT!" yelled Raphael as he charged at his brother with the knife.

FLASHBACK OVER

"And so, I was Kenshin…forever…" he finished dramatically. Raphael was glaring at him with his arms crossed.

"If you'd just let me be Tomoe, then that would've never happened!" he said.

"Why did you want to be a girl?" Amy asked, highly puzzled and questioning her father's sexuality.

"I WAS A CHILD! A VERY PRETTY CHILD!" he yelled. Chester shook his head.

"After all these years and you are STILL nothing but a homo." He said.

"SHUT UP! I'M BISEXUAL!" Raphael screamed as he launched himself at him. They began to fight once more. Amy finally sighed and walked out of the room.

"I give up," She groaned, closing the library door on the two.

"MY ARM!" Chester's voice echoed through the room before she slammed the door.

**That' was fun! Hope you like! Tune in for the next one! **


	8. HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

**Hey people. I am so sorry to leave you guys hanging for so long! It was school and everything else holding me back., NOT TO MENTION I am working on another story that I had completely re-written called "In the Cat's Eyes"**

**Raphael: (Plays the violin)**

**Chester: (Takes the violin and smacks Raphael over the head)**

**Raphael: SON OF A...**

**Let's just start this now. Chapter 8: THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL**

* * *

Raphael ran around the mansion with an unusually happy look on his face. The weather was getting colder, and the sun was setting earlier, and that meant… 

"It's that time of year again!" Raphael yelled joyfully, "Hanging decoration! Putting up the tree! Singing gleeful carols!"

Chester and Amy both stared at each other confusedly, then at the now insane blond man skipping around happily.

"It's October. You're talking about the wrong holiday, dumbass." Chester stated. Raphael stopped and glared at his younger brother.

"This is the holiday where you dress up in scary costumes and mug children for candy." Chester continued, "I'm planning to do both this evening." Amy glared at her uncle. He could be such an ass sometimes.

"I remember when we used to dress up…" Raphael said, going into a flashback.

_A very young six year old Raphael was skipping around happily, wearing a satin robe. His dad suddenly stopped him when he noticed something about his son. "Raphael…why are you wearing mommy's shoes?" his father asked him in a really concerned tone. Raphael looked down at the red high heels, then back at his father and smiled. "I'm a princess!" Raphael answered with a curtsy. His dad continued to stare at him with a concerned look. Suddenly in the corner of his eye, a three year old Chester came running downstairs crying. His father turned to him in shock at the fact that he had a headless doll in his hand. "Raffy broke Ken!" Chester wailed, holding up the headless doll._

_"YOU STOLE MY MALIBU BARBIE!!!" Raphael yelled back. His father looked at the two, then held his head, "Somebody shoot me…" he muttered._

"It was great times," Raphael said, looking up as he remembered.

"Promise me you will never bring that up again…" Chester said, seeming embarrassed by it all.

"Great! You played with DOLLS too!" Amy said sarcastically.

"I want to go trick-or-treating tonight!" Raphael demanded.

"I'm a little too old to be doing that." she answered.

"I want you to take _me _trick-or-treating! Pretty please?" Raphael said in a pleading tone the sounded like a teenage girl.

"What?" Amy asked, raising her eyebrow. This was awkward.

"Pretty please with sugar and ice cream and marshmallows and butterfingers and strawberries and cotton candy and chocolate and puppies?" Raphael asked, suddenly realizing how weird the puppy part sounded. Amy finally sighed.

"Okay,"

"YAY!" Raphael cheered.

"That is so gay…" Chester mumbled.

"Shut up! I said I was bisexual!" Raphael retorted.

"Whatever…" he responded as he walked off.

Later that evening, Raphael came downstairs. His hair was combed differently and he was wearing a red mask with a purple shirt and white pants. Amy raised her eyebrow. "What are you suppose to be?" she asked. Raphael looked at her as if it was the silliest question in the world.

"I'm a vampire! Can't you tell?" he asked. Amy shook her head. Raphael sighed.

"I was originally going to be a cowboy, but then Chester began making fun of me and calling me 'Mr. Brokeback Mountain', so I grabbed him and smacked his head into the door." He said. Amy sighed with annoyance. At first she though her dad must've tripped and fell when she heard that banging sound.

Speak of the devil, Chester was coming down the stairs at that moment, holding a bloody handkerchief to his nose. "So what are you going to do?" she asked.

"Bag snatching…if my nose stops bleeding." He answered, glaring at Raphael.

"It serves you right!" Raphael said. With that, Chester made a hand gesture. Raphael was ready to run at him until Amy spoke.

"LET'S GO ON OUR WAY, SHALL WE?!?!" she said loudly, getting Raphael to stop. He stopped and turned to his daughter.

"Did you see the hand gesture he gave me?" Raphael said angrily.

"He was pointing at the ceiling, telling you it needs to be repainted. He meant nothing by it." Amy lied.

_(YAY!!! TIME ELAPSE!!!) _

The two arrived to their first house. Raphael skipped up to the door and began banging on it excitedly. A tired looking man who looked about the same age as Raphael answered. He stopped and stared at the grown blond man who was Raphael standing there holding out a bag.

"Trick or treat!" Raphael said in a high-pitched, child-like voice.

"What the hell?" the man said out loud to the slightly disturbing scene. The two paused for a moment, the man staring at him with an anime sweat drop.

"I want candy!" Raphael said, breaking the silence. The man finally closed the door, then came back with a handful.

"Have a great night." he said. Raphael looked into the bag, then glared at the man angrily.

"What?" the man asked. Raphael pulled out a candy bar and chucked it hard at his eye.

"OW!!! WHAT THE F--K?" the man screamed, holding his eye.

"I WANTED A BUTTERFINGER, DAMMIT!!!" Raphael yelled, then huffed and swiftly walked away

* * *

Chester walked out into the night dressed as the killer from "Scream". Sure, it was generic, but he wasn't out to impress anyone. He saw a little boy walking alone dressed as a clown. Perfect, he thought. He went up to him and pulled out his dagger. The child turned around and screamed as a yellow puddle was forming underneath him. 

"GIMMIE YOUR CANDY!!!" Chester roared. The child threw the bag and ran off. When the child was long gone, Chester took his mask off to reveal the evil smirk on his face as he eyed what was in the bag. It was like stealing candy from a baby…literally

* * *

Raphael swiftly pulled out his sword and stabbed the poor woman in the stomach. The woman shrilled in horror and collapsed on the ground. Raphael grabbed the hilt and pulled the sword back out, making her twitch. "That's what you deserve..." Raphael said, his eye twitching. 

Upon that morbid scene, Amy, who was standing directly behind him, cleared her throat. Raphael turned around to see her with her arms crossed and her foot tapping on the ground. He lowered his head. "Now, father," she started, "What did I tell you about massacring people for Butterfingers?"

"I don't wanna say," Raphael said in a whiny tone.

"Say it." Amy demanded.

"I don't wanna say,"

"Say it!"

Raphael huffed. He finally said it under his breath, his head still lowered.

" 'Don't slaughter people for Butterfingers...' "

"And why is that?" Amy continued.

" 'Because you're lucky people are even offering your hyper ass some candy in the first place.' "

"That's right. We can end this trip tonight." Amy threatened. Raphael began to rapidly shake his head.

"NO!! I WANNA TRICK-OR-TREAT!!"

"Then stop killing people." Amy said.

"But I want a Butterfinger!" Raphael whined.

"We have some at home. Now let's go." Amy said like a parent. Raphael huffed like a child and trudged behind her.

A child was skipping by happily to his group of friends. Raphael turned his head over to watch them talk to their friends. "What did you get?" one of the friends asked.

"A Butterfinger!" the child answered. Upon hearing that, Raphael broke into a sudden run, roaring like an animal as he went towards the child. The boy looked to see this man dressed as a vampire coming at him, drooling hungrily. His eyes popped wide as he screamed a high pitch scream and darted off.

"RUN, TIMMY! RUN!" his friends yelled.

"GET OVER HERE!!!" Raphael yelled after him. Amy stopped to watch the chase scene, annoyed of the whole thing

* * *

Chester was one the prowl once again. He already had ten bags in his hands all at once. This was too easy. It was almost sadistically fun. Just then, he had spotted a rather tall looking child. He was dressed up in knight's armor. The child had a HUGE bag of candy; it almost outsized Chester's ten bags. That bag was going to be his tonight or so help him. Chester chuckled to himself as he slipped the mask back on his face. He began to slowly approach at first. When he got within 10 feet, he broke into a run, screaming a battle cry. The child in armor turned around to face him as he saw the crazed man in the scream mask run at him. 

"GIMME YOUR CANDY!!!" Chester screamed.

Out of nowhere, Chester suddenly felt something whack him over the head hard, making him collapse on the ground. He pulled off his mask to see that it wasn't a child at all, but NIGHTMARE. His eyes popped wide. "Oh, god...I totally didn't know-"

"GET AWAY FROM MY CANDY, PUNY HUMAN!" Nightmare roared, smacking him in the face with the bag again. Chester got up, only to get smacked in the back of the head again.

"OW!! I'M LEAVING!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" He yelled. He began to run, but was still getting smacked in the head. He turned to see that Nightmare was still behind him. He ran down the rest of the block screaming like a girl

* * *

Raphael was whining. The reason why could be evident due to the blood stained clothing he was wearing. "Amy, please?" he begged in a whiny tone, a snot bubble coming out of his nose. 

"No. I told you, but you obviously didn't care, did you?" Amy said.

"But the Butterfingers!" Raphael whined.

"Would you relax about the Butterfingers? We have them at home!" Amy yelled.

"**BUT THE BUTTERFINGERS!!!**" Raphael suddenly broke out with in a demonic voice. With that, Amy slapped him.

"WOULD YOU GET A GRIP?" Amy screamed, "I will give you until the count of ten..."

"**BUT THE GOD KISSED CANDY!!!**" Raphael roared in a demonic voice again.

"Ten," Amy said before grabbing her father by his collar and slapping him repeatedly the whole way back.

* * *

Chester was sitting at home on the couch with an icepack to his head. Getting beat up on Halloween night really made it suck. Oh well, at least he got his candy. He was pondering about it when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Chester opened the door to see children dressed up holding out bags of candy. One was a pirate, the second was a vampire, and the last one was a Klu Klux Klan member…or a ghost. He couldn't tell. 

"Trick or treat!" the children sung in unison. Chester smirked at the faces of the adorable, innocent children.

"Aww! You kids want some candy?" Chester asked.

"YEAH!" they all said together.

"Well…that's too damn bad…" Chester said, slamming the door. He turned his back and walked back to the couch. He could swear he could hear one of the children outside screaming "asshole" but he didn't care.

He sat back down and opened his bag of goodies. "Hmm, a Butterfinger." he said out loud. Just as he was about to open it, the door opened. It was Amy and Raphael coming back from their trip.

"That was the worst trip ever!" Amy said, collapsing on the couch next to her uncle. Raphael walked into the room, suddenly freezing when he saw what was in Chester's hand. "Butterfinger..." Raphael growled. A vain popped out of his forehead and his eyes began to glow. Chester looked at him with a freaked out look, blinking twice. Raphael launched himself at his younger brother. Chester jumped up and ran off, causing Raphael to chase after him. Amy watched the two and sighed.

"I hate my life," she said to herself.

* * *

**Well, I hope you liked it! Thnx for the hits!  
**  



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